the past few weeks, I’ve gotten more and more comfortable with injecting mice. I wouldn’t say it’s become second nature but it’s definitely a lot easier. each time, I find some spare time at the end to put them on my hand and play with them. I stare into their drooping eyes and wish the best for them in the future. I guess the way my TA Lokesh puts it, its a lot better than to say they are euthanized at the end.

For our sake, we use them to test for drugs, the pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics. We even use them to test for any interactions, toxicity and effectiveness before human trials. We inject them against their wills and when I watch them sedated and unable to right themselves, I have to admit, my heart breaks a little as I hold their tiny bodies. However, I know they will wake up this time. But…what about in the few hours afterwards? These are barely adult mice - still considered babies - weighing no more than 30g.

Lokesh says they “immortalize” them which just means that they are euthanized and will be “immortal” beings in heaven. I wish I could see things his way one day when it comes to these experiments. At least when they are gased, it won’t take long to rest in peace. Mice, whom I’ve injected, rest in peace! I’ll always remember your little nibbles on my fingers/gloves and you’re tiny, shivering bodies in my hands and climbing on me. ☺

ahh! so envious. my ex is going to Japan. /SOB.

I WANNA GO TOOOOOOOOOOOO </3.

I really want to write a story titled “Admiration”

I went out to lunch with my family today and my mom was saying how carrying me was really hard. I don’t know man. It’s not my fault. I didn’t know anything betterrrrrr .

BUT I am glad. I’m glad that she did everything in her power to bring me to this world. Thank you mom.

that awesome feeling when yu stretch and half yur palm touches the floor when you push yourself. can’t wait to regain my flexibility!

my mom thinks I’m secretly a les and that’s why I’m not dating. OBVIOUSLY MOM. that’s obviously it. XD;

no wonder I have so many girlfriends. haha

OTL.

I think two of the hardest things in this world is the first hello due to shyness and the eventual farewell that tears our hearts apart.

I was talking to my friend on the train about how even the bonds I have with the mice I inject and play with during lab, how it does kill me a little on the inside when I have to say goodbye. It’s heartwrenching because I know they will die. When I injected the thiopental - seeing the drug take its effect and seeing it unable to get up…it tore at my heart a bit. Seeing it slowly gain back its abilities to right itself and having its little body shiver in my hand - I really felt the urge to protect this helpless baby mouse. Sometimes, I wonder does anyone else in the room see the way I look and play with them. I wonder do they think I’m a bit of crazy, a bit of caring or maybe, I even have that shine in my eyes. Too bad I can never tell. But its those little bonds, even when they are just staring at me and sniffing at my hands. In those short 1.5hours, I’ve grown fond of them - like they are my pets. We are always one of the last tables to say goodbye.

There’s the other thing with my biomedical lab TF and TAs. I feel like I’ve gotten to known them each individually. The jokes, laughters, smiles, serious talks, even lectures - they all mean so much to me. Now that I know our time is shortening, I know I’ll miss them a lot. Even though I haven’t spoken much to John or Tak a lot before (though John a lot more than Tak..), the past three weeks of handling the mice has given me a chance to know them too. Especially Tak. He’s the one who helped me when my mouse was squealing and I couldn’t pick it up. He’s also the one who, like John, gave me one on one teaching on injecting the mice.My biomed lab people are amazing. I hope it won’t be weird when its our last class and I tell them I’ll miss their presence. :|

I’ll definitely miss being “Kumari” in a way. xD;

on a side note, Milan & Lokesh can speak very good mandarin! I was surprised. Though what took me more by surprise was that Tak can speak cantonese. It was funny when I told Milan and he went to bring Tak over. It’s like we’re all friends. It’s amazing. ☺